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How to forgive someone who hurt us

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Forgiving the person that hurt you isn't easy especially if that person is close to you. In my previous post entitled How to Get Over a Betrayal I mentioned that we tend to seek revenge every time somebody we trusted hurt us or betrayed us. Based on my personal experience, the first emotion that we will feel after being hurt is anger and eventually that anger will turn into bitterness and bitterness will turn into hatred and this hatred will eat us alive from the inside out. 

Forgiving the people that have caused severe anguish in your life is not easy but forgiving these people is essential in releasing the pain that's been holding you prison and preventing you from enjoying your life's blessings. When we hold on to our anger towards the person who have wronged us, it us who will suffer the most and not the party that we hate. That pain, that bitterness, and that anger will continue to linger inside us unless we release that negative emotions from our hearts and our minds. We can only free ourselves from these negative emotions once we start forgiving those who have offended us.

I have experienced so much pain and betrayals in the past and I know I will still experience those in the future. But I would like to share with you some of my experiences on how I forgave those people (especially those that I have trusted). 

  • The earlier you forgive, the better.  The longer you hold on to your anger towards the person who offended you, the longer it will make your life miserable. Based on my personal experience, it will be more difficult to let go of that anger if that person is a daily part of your life like a family member, a neighbor, or an office mate. Day after day your mood will turn from good to bad the moment you see their faces... everyday will be a misery. If someone wronged you, it is normal to give yourself a few days to get angry at that person. But never allow that negative emotions to linger inside you long enough to let you do crazy things towards the person you hate. As early as possible, try to convince yourself that you need to forgive and by forging that mindset, the healing process begins. 
  • Keep yourself busy or do something that you enjoy. Getting involve in activities that will keep you busy will help divert your thoughts and will keep your mind away from the person that hurt you. If you have enough budget, you might want to take a vacation with someone you love like your spouse or partner. Also take this opportunity to share or open up your experience and find comfort with the person you trust the most.
  • Sometimes you may need some legal advice. Those who have hurt us might have wronged us too far. Some of their offenses might have violated your rights as an individual and you might want to uphold it back by legal means. However, not all legal suits may end up in your favor and it might entail legal costs on your part. Better consider all factors before going into this direction.
  • Seek spiritual guidance. Ask God today to search your heart, talk to Him and ask Him to remove all the bitterness and hate that is keeping you in prison in your past. Some of our pain might be already beyond our understanding and divine intervention is needed to help erase our hatred to those who have wronged us.
And as a final note, no matter how much pain you have suffered in the past, always remember that God is always there to embrace you and to wrap his compassion and love around you. You are not alone in this battle. Seek Him, seek His guidance and as you walk with Him, forgiveness will set in.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. - Matthew 6:14-15

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