My road to recovery

I can honestly say that I am far better now as compared six month ago. Last October 11, 2016, was the most unforgettable day in my life so far. I took a leave from work that day so I can attend to some important matters in my house which was under renovation. We were constructing an additional bedroom for my parents. My parents were already at their mid-70's and they were staying in our ancestral house a few kilometers from my place. I've been living separately from them for almost twelve years. But in 2013, I got into an accident resulting to a bone surgery. Since I am living a single life, I had no choice but to stay in my parents house for more than three months. Before the accident, I had no knowledge of the condition of my parents. I knew they were already old and already suffering from some sort of sickness. My dad was already taking maintenance for his hypertension and diabetes while my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. It never crossed my mind that both my parents were very unhappy with their situation and was so unprepared with the challenges of old age. Since childhood, I always run to my parents for all my daily problems be it petty or major ones, but during my short stay with them it made me realized that they were no longer the same go-to person that I grew up with. In fact I felt so ashamed that my aged parents were the ones who cared for me during my accident instead of me that should be caring for them. But I had no choice. My mom and my dad were the only ones who can help me that time.

I am very thankful for the love that my parents showed me during that difficult part of my life. I was unable to walk and almost useless that time. Even going to the kitchen just to get water to drink was impossible that I had to ask my mother to get it for me despite her weak legs and body. In the morning she made sure that breakfast was served and all my other daily needs were taken cared of. My dad, on the other hand accompanied me on all my appointments and check-up with my doctors including all my physical therapy sessions. My dad was known to be impatient but he was with me throughout the long queues as we waited for our turn for my doctor's appointment. I cannot recall hearing any complains from him and I will be forever grateful for that. 

My #bestfriend for the past three months. #ThankYou for your support. l hope i wont use you again. lol

A post shared by Angelo Villamejor (@jojovillamejor) on Mar 3, 2013 at 5:02am PST

It took me more than three months to endure the pain of my broken fibula (leg bone) and painstakingly taught my self to walk using my crutches. I may not have overcome it without the support of my parents. That is why I promised myself that I will repay them will all my love and time as soon as I recovered from my accident. Honestly, it went well during the first few months after my recovery, I remember staying in their house instead of heading to my own place. I recall forcing myself to leave early from work so I can join them in the dinner table. But my work slowly crept back into my schedule and ate back all my extra time intended for my parents. My daily sleepovers on my parents house turned into weekly visits. And there was a time that when I rarely visited them in a month. I was so guilty for not fulfilling my promise.

As expected, my parents health condition got worse. My dad's diabetes was already affecting his behavior making him restless and irritable resulting to frequent fights with my mom. My mother on the other hand was getting weaker and weaker due to her Parkinson's disease. My two siblings do not have a full grasp of my parents health condition that time and this was probably the reason why they were not as alarmed as me when it comes to their health. I also notice that they do not have the same urgency that I have to take care of our parents physical, emotional, and financial needs. I cannot blame them since they already have their own family to nurture. Without me knowing it, they just silently appointed me as the caretaker of our parents which somehow infuriates me. Not because I do not want the responsibility, in fact I am honored, what I just hate is children starting their own family and forgetting their responsibility on their aging parents. I strongly believe that all of us, not matter what our marital status in life should be obliged to care for our parents until their last breath. Anyway, my mom's frequent complaint about my dad's behavior and their frequent lovers quarrel prompted me to toy on the idea of relocating my mom to my place. She loves the idea but she asked me to construct a separate room and kitchen for her to preserve both our privacy. That's the story behind the renovation in my house. At first, the room was just intended for her, but as the renovation progress, I slowly modified the design so that it will not just fit my mom but will also accommodate my dad as well. In short, I want them both to relocate in my house - without them knowing it. I was hoping if we all live together under one roof, I will have more time to take care of them. Unfortunately, a few days before their planned relocation, my father died. He died October 11, 2016...

His death was a surprise to me. It was regretful on my part for I was not able to fulfill most of my promise to my dad. Me and my dad have more memories together as compared to all other members of my family. He is my mentor, my travel buddy, my friend (sometimes my enemy), my inspiration, and he is my counsel. Most of me is because of him and I am proud of it. Only if he knew how important he was to me. I regret that I never had a chance to say that to him when he was still alive. I just wish that he is watching over me now so he will know how I deeply love him.

I have not yet fully recovered from his tragic death, but I'm a work in progress.

A post shared by Angelo Villamejor (@jojovillamejor) on Mar 28, 2013 at 3:33pm PDT

Photo of my dad with my nephew

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